What?

"I am what I see you as in the moment."

Byron Katie


If we start with a belief like: "He's lazy", one turnaround we'll
find is: "I'm lazy." That's the turnaround to the Self.

After we find that turnaround, our job is to look for proof for this
turnaround - "I'm lazy." But we're not going to look just anywhere.

If you really want to know yourself, you need to get super specific
with these turnarounds.

So we're going to start as close to the center of the ripples as
possible.

What we're doing here is looking for where it's true that I'm
lazy...right *in the moment* that I see him as lazy.

So right when that pebble went in (when the stressful thought
happened) how was I being lazy?

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Why do we look there? Because our thoughts are projections of what
we're experiencing.
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Byron Katie has said, "I am what I see you as in the moment."

And when we get to the turnarounds, we have an opportunity to see
how this is true for us.

So let me look...when I saw him as lazy, how was *I* the one who
was being lazy...right then?

1. He was talking about how he didn't want to go to the store
and I wasn't really paying attention to him. I was being lazy in
that I didn't focus on what he was saying.

2. I didn't question the beliefs I was having about him - I just
let them run amuck- so I projected all my stress on him and that
was a lazy thing to do.

3. I was just standing there getting frustrated with him and I
wasn't going to the store either.

See how I looked for where that turnaround was true *right in the
moment* I projected that he was lazy?

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Moving On To The Next Ripple
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From here, we move out into the next ring in the series of ripples.
This ripple will still be related to the person who I wrote about.

So that first one was where I'm lazy *in the moment* I believe he's
lazy.

As we keep looking at this turnaround, "I'm lazy," let me see where
else I'm lazy in my relationship with this person...

1. I'm lazy when I see that something fell off his desk and I
don't pick it up.

2. I'm lazy when he asks me to come look at something in the
other room and I don't go.

3. I'm lazy when I don't do the dishes because I think he should
do them.

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And Another Ripple...
===================================

Then we look at another ripple out. This one might be how am I lazy
with other people?

1. I'm lazy with other people when I don't respond to their
emails as soon as they come in.

2. I'm lazy with other people when I don't get their birthday
gifts out ahead of time.

3. I'm lazy with other people when they tell me their names and
I don't do anything to try to remember them.

And as you stay with this turnaround, "I'm lazy," you can follow
the ripples for as long as you want. The power is in starting in
the center and working your way out.

You might wind up looking all the way back to how you were lazy
in grade school when you made your bed by throwing the blanket
over your pajamas and piled up sheets!

There's no limit to where you can go when you really sit with these
turnarounds and find them.

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What About With the Other Turnarounds?
===============================

Then when you go to the other turnarounds like, "He's not lazy,"
again, you start in the center of the ripples.

Can I look at that situation again in my mind and see where he
wasn't actually lazy in the moment I thought he was?

So let's say he was sitting on the couch watching tv - and that's
when we thought he was being lazy. Let's look right in the center
(where the stressful thought happened) and see how it could be true
that he wasn't being lazy?

1. He's not lazy as he's sitting on the couch watching TV...he's
actually totally alert and paying attention to what's going on there.

2. All he said was that he didn't want to go to the store now.
That's not being lazy. He's just really clear about what he does
and doesn't want to be doing right now!

3. He's also taking care of himself by doing something that is
relaxing for him. Taking care of yourself is definitely not a lazy
thing to do. That's a smart thing to do!

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Is the light bulb starting to go off?
==========================================

Can you see how spending some time with your turnarounds like this
could shift your perceptions and open you up to reality?

I understand that these kinds of findings may not be sitting right
on the tip of your mind ready to come out. And if they're not,
that's okay.

What's important is that you start opening yourself up to the idea
that there is more to the turnarounds than you may be finding on
your own.

Mona Grayson